Conflict is inevitable in any workplace. In most cases, it can be minimal, resulting in minor disagreements that fade or resolve themselves over time. However, in some instances, it can escalate into a full-blown argument. As a leader, you’ll likely find yourself working to resolve various conflicts, whether a dispute between employees, peers, or business partners. Conflict resolution skills take time to develop and often require a tailored approach to each situation, but they are among the most powerful tools a leader can possess. No matter your role or title, helping people find solutions to their problems is one of a leader’s key responsibilities.
I worked as a supervisor at a popular coffee shop chain for about four years when I was assigned to a store known for its tight-knit team. During the first few months, I learned how to adapt my leadership approach to build strong relationships and fully integrate into the team. In my post, Working with a Team that’s New to You, I discuss the key lessons from that experience, which helped me earn my place as a leader and gain the team’s trust. However, another supervisor who transferred to the store six months after I did needed extra guidance on how to thrive in that close-knit environment.
We’ll refer to this other supervisor as Amy. She had been promoted to her first supervisory role about a month before transferring to my store. Amy was confident and eager to begin her leadership journey. However, like many new leaders, she relied heavily on her appointed authority, which led her to use a ‘heavy hand’ in upholding expectations and assigning work. As a result, she was often perceived as demanding and had a condescending tone in her communication.
It was no secret that Amy was struggling to gain the favor of the baristas. I frequently heard complaints about her leadership style and communication. One morning, I walked into work to find Amy and another barista yelling at each other behind the counter, in full view of customers. I immediately stepped in to separate them and break up the argument. After speaking with each of them separately, I learned that they both felt disrespected, which had turned a small disagreement into a yelling match. It was clear that my involvement was necessary to find a resolution. While there are countless ways to resolve conflict, in this situation, I chose to follow a specific set of steps.
Establish a Safe Enjoinment
I asked the barista and Amy to come into the back room with me to work out their conflict. I also advised the other baristas working that day to remain in the front until we were finished talking. I wanted to ensure our setting was private, as recommended by leadership consultants Roaul Buron and Dana McDonald-Mann in their book Giving Feedback to Subordinates. Having a private space when working through challenging topics with peers and employees also aids in providing a sense of “psychological safety” which helps and encourages people to speak freely about their concerns without fear of repercussions as defined by the authors of Everyday People, Extraordinary Leadership. I also wanted them to know that they had my undivided attention and were my number one priority. By removing all other distractions and spectators, they could put more focus more effectively on their communication.
Be a Mediator
I wasn’t directly involved in this conflict, which allowed me to serve as a mediator. According to David Brubaker, a Professor at Eastern Mennonite University, a mediator’s value lies in their ability to enhance communication, encourage reflection, and test each party’s perceptions of reality. I asked questions to help each person understand the impact of their words and actions. Simple questions like ‘How did that make you feel?’ ‘What did you mean by saying that?’ and ‘What response were you hoping to hear?’ helped them realize they were dealing with a simple communication breakdown that led to feelings of disrespect. As the mediator, my goal was to encourage them to resolve the issue together rather than to determine who was right or wrong. I guided the conversation and only offered my opinion when necessary. Since I wasn’t directly involved, it was up to them to find a resolution—I simply provided the environment and structure to facilitate it. As the conversation evolved, they came to an understanding of how to approach and work with each other better.
Follow Up
Even when a conflict seems resolved, the resolution may only be temporary, especially if the underlying causes remain. Unresolved issues can resurface and become problematic again, which is why it’s important to follow up. After some time had passed, I checked in with both the barista and Amy separately to see if they felt the conflict was fully resolved. Each shared that since our conversation in the back room, they had grown to enjoy working together. Amy had gone from feeling alienated by her team to having an ally who helped her work better with everyone. Following up not only reassured me that the conflict had been resolved, but it also allowed me to offer additional advice on how to continue working well together. Staying connected to their progress showed them that I was genuinely invested in their growth, which they appreciated.
Resolving conflict at work can be complicated and intimidating. Regardless of your role or title, you may find yourself needing to step in and help others resolve their issues. While anyone can watch an argument unfold, it takes a leader to guide people through the process toward a resolution. If you find yourself in this position, remember to provide a safe environment where people can openly discuss their problems and feelings. Act as an unbiased mediator to guide the conversation and encourage them to resolve their differences through their own words and actions. Finally, follow up to show that you care, offering support or guidance if the issue persists.
Featured image by Tim Gouw on Unsplash
References:
Kouzes, James M., and Barry Z. Posner. Everyday People, Extraordinary Leadership: How to Make a Difference Regardless of Your Title, Role, or Authority. John Wiley & Sons, Inc, 2021.
Brubaker, David, et al. “Conflict Resolution in the Workplace: What Will the Future Bring?” Wiley Online Library, 24 June 2014, https://onlinelibrary-wiley-com.ezproxy1.lib.asu.edu/doi/full/10.1002/crq.21104. Accessed 2024.
McDonald-Mann, Dana, and Raoul J. Buron. Giving Feedback to Subordinates. Center for Creative Leadership, 2007.
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